How's life treating ya?

Yeah, the DC jack got replaced last year, seems it broke on the inside where it is mounted to the LCD. Duct tape and super glue are alluring options compared to the cost of a new laptop.

oh, there is a little circuit board in there for the psu

can probably get a replacement. in my experience though, fixing laptops is a pita.

congrats ahlia, that's really awesome news.

Life is turning out to be very lifey for me. Kind of an epiphany moment where I've discovered all the shit I go through is going to happen more often because I'm just at that age where everything changes ... I feel like the world is transitioning me into an adult with adult responsibilities and issues when I am still living at home sharing a room with my 13 year old sister, and it's really surreal.

Learning how to deal with things is a process I'm going through right now. Dealing with death and seeing people around me del with their own losses. My best friend from Melbourne is about to lose his mum, and I just sat there dumbfounded as I realised this is going to start happening and I have no idea what I should do to help him through it.

Being single is an experience too. I apparently have a date that I was naive enough to accept before I realised that I was asked on a date, so that should be fun. God forbid Chris should find out.

I have a romance with chemicals -not a reference to a shitty band mind- and a good, long bender has a way of putting things in perspective. Perhaps my life would be more comfortable if I didn't rely so heavily on booze and drugs but it sure as shit was no cake walk before chemical cocktails became the order of the day. As I type this and edit it as I go with the absurd amount of typos I am creating I am strung out on a fancy cocktail of my own invention and this cocktail has the advantage of allowing me clarity where otherwise my thoughts would be skewed by the social conventions that muddle all of our thinking, mostly when pertaining to morals. Morality is the home of cowards. We all are dark creatures capable of light, but without that darkness the light would never be noticed, soliloquized, appreciated. I say morality is the home of cowards because those pious ones who damn the rest of us to eternal hell fire are the very ones who do not accept that the darkness is a necessary evil if we are to notice and enjoy the light, and every one of them is just as dark as I in their own way, I just have the balls to admit it. It is cowardly to encase oneself in a mantel of morality and look down upon the rest for not following the same path. We are animals with the appetite of animals; sex, drugs, violence; these are more natural then the morals created by religion and philosophy.

So, in conclusion, I will destroy my life if I so choose or I will better it. Most days I wonder which would be more appropriate. Napalm smells good.

Got a job, was over the moon about it. Last week I did 66 freakin' hours and I'm gonna realise why I put myself through that on thursday (payfuckingday). I also kicked myself back into saving mode 'cause when I first got the job, I was spending quite a bit more than normal. Already at 4 figures in da bank (go me lol). This week I'm working 45 hours and also going to full time college.

Also; One guy at work was going mad cause his only day off was the day he goes to college while I was just looking at him waiting for him to laugh and tell me he was joking, he wasn't joking. fuck me you really sound like your life is so hard, you only ask to go home early everyday. Luckily this fucking joke is just a temp from another store, such a pain in da ass, get out.

Have a new phone and a new girl and a new angle on things, shit is good right now.

Work is great, and work is complete shit, but it's great
I dont think my current job is long term, so as soon as I get a reasonable amount of experience I might switch to another place til I finish college. But it's ok for now.

das me.

While your hours sound like they suck massively. I'm happy for you things are working out, Aidan.

As for life today, I'm sick and bored. So decided to clean the house. Got a little overzealous with the Dettol (desinfectant), which causes for everyone that dares to set foot in the house to become either joyfully high or experience respiratory troubles. I'm currently experiencing a mixture of both, though I'm not sure if I am high due to the shortage of fresh air or due to the Dettol itself.

My last three weeks have been hell. Some of you know why and while I would love to be able to vent,rant and cry to you as you are mostly all dear friends. This isn't the place to air most of it. So I will stick with the generic bits that I really don't mind the world knowing. I had my father arrested three weeks ago today. Killing him would have been a much more pleasurable option, but this was the "right" way to do it. I have had to deal with child services, police, family drama, etc since. Add to that motor on my car went, the tooth I had a root canal done to just before all this happened broke, stink bugs have decided to attack at will, oh yes, and the revenue agency is auditing me.....

Fun three weeks huh.


Life has been shitty.

Then Monday happened. Gavin sent me an amazingly awesome gift in the mail! I won two raffles for things from a radio station. Child services let me know they DID close the file. And Bugs phone is getting replaced for free! (Bug is Dizzy's sister fyi)

I think (fingers crossed) the universe is done fucking with me.

*hugs*

Stick it out bellz, if it'd help I'll hop on skype and have a few too many drinks again Toasti I'm signing you up for this too


^^maybe sluttyredhead too.



....that video call is in the "weird shit that happened" part of my memory haha

Aidan wrote:

*hugs*

Stick it out bellz, if it'd help I'll hop on skype and have a few too many drinks again Toasti I'm signing you up for this too


^^maybe sluttyredhead too.



....that video call is in the "weird shit that happened" part of my memory haha

You are on! I'd love to tie one on and give the universe the middle finger for fucking with Bella!

Sorry to hear that Bellz. It sounds though like things can only get better from here. One day at a time and Anto and I send our love!

Bellz, my thoughts and my prayers are with you.  It isn't much I know, but your friends are behind you all the way.

It's easy to air one's dirty laundry where strangers are concerned on a public forum. Mayeb I need to put down the bottle and stop bitching, ha! not likely. I wish I could confide in what's left of my friends, but even most of them have gotten tired of my half crazed rhetoric in the past year. Maybe they cared so much that they just walked away and couldn't watch as I delved deeper and deeper into self loathing and self destruction. Sure I have dreams still and even goals and every once in awhile I have a moment of clarity that is not consumed by hatred and bitterness. Has it really been almost a year? I hate October.

When a wife loses her husband to death she is called a widow. When a husband loses his wife to death he is called a widower. When a child loses their parents he or she is called an orphan. What is the word used for a parent who has lost their child? Honestly, I really don't want to know. If I knew then there would be a label; and I have enough of those as it is. October. Fuck you October! I see you rearing your ugly head to mock and poke fun. Fuck you! I need another drink. Hell, I don't think I could be drunk enough or stoned enough for this shit. I wish October would shoot itself; I wish I had the balls to shot it myself or myself but I'm a coward. I wasn't always a nihilist. I wasn't always an asshole. I wasn't always self destructive. I use to be a nice guy, once upon a time. I was a hero; loved, idolized even, happy. There was a time. Life gave me lemons but I didn't make lemonade, instead I threw the lemons painfully at everything I ever loved; after. Who gives a shit? Apathy, where are you when I need you? I'm going to finish this bottle and look for you, will you be there? I want to go away until October is gone. There won't be anyone to look for me anyway and that's okay I guess. I miss you. Fuck it, who am I shitting?

I miss the comfort of being insane.

Bellz all power to ya... You're the sassiest mum I know... World knows you just been kick in too Mich ass and is tryin to take some back... You show em girly, kick life back right in the balls!

Thanks guys. A night spent getting drunk with you again would defiantly be a bright spot. Dun, if it only involved me, I would likely vent but it involves people far more important to me.

I really am lucky to have friends like you all.

Love you guys <3

Sending positivity your way Bellz! <3

I'm sick again except it's really kicking my ass this time and the meds I have to take are making me vomit my brains out...just so tired.

Sending good thoughts your way, everyone! <3

So... yesterday, I went to the theater with some friends. I met a woman (friend of a friend, in her 30s probably) who was all sorts of hilarious and sweet. She reminded us of Sarah Silverman (she even looks like her!) So after the show, some of us, including her, went to have a late dinner. Among all the laughing and everything, I made a comment (don't remember what it was, and definitely nothing mean!) about the fact that she was pregnant. She was not >.<

Now, keep in mind she has skinny arms and legs (not sickly skinny, but you know, healthy skinny). And she's not fat by any standard, but she was wearing a flowery large dress that made it seem like she was hiding a pregnant belly (figured she was 3 months along, tops.) Also, she made comments about back pains, and about craving food (she was just hungry... but I didn't take it that way!)

Obviously, I apologized profusely. But the thing is, at first when she said "Wait, you think I'm pregnant?" I thought she was just kidding and didn't believe her right away! >.< I was so tired and wasn't thinking properly but OH GOD I hated myself throughout the whole thing (she didn't show to be upset and we kept laughing about other things throughout the 1-2 hours after that... but still!) Even now, I'm still feeling terrible, I hope she genuinely doesn't care >.< It was super embarrassing for me, and super stupid, too. I just wanted to curl up and bury myself for it lol.

I'm probably never gonna see her again anyway. But still! Gosh, I still can't believe I did that! >.<

Anyway, rant over. >.<

At least when you asked you didn't rub her belly too did you? I've done that once to someone, surprised they didn't punch me in the face O.o LOL!

Hahahahaha Roby and Trin! No belly rub thankfully, but a couple of "You're joking, right?"

And no punch! Thanks for making me see the silver lining! LOL

haha see! what're friends for! LOL!

I would move, Roby!