Funny English Crap

Subject: Re: Funny English Crap Thu Feb 20, 2014 11:35 am

anto_capone wrote:: Top 10 English 'tactics' 101:

1: Ban enemies from taverns, because talking and pretending to drink with them is self destructive and might take away the facade of solidarity.
2: Hoard all your food to the point of starving your own people, because if your own people are starving, surely the enemy must be as well!
3: Steal everything before the enemy can steal it; not realizing/caring that you've just caused months/years of harm to yourself.
4: Rally the willfully ignorant to die for your cause, and be thankful they are less informed than even yourself!
5: Whine on the forums how the enemy are cheaters, bullies, and flamers; not realizing that by whining and flaming on the forum you are self implicating.
6: Lie about how the war started. Lie about how the war is proceeding. Lie about how the war will end.
7: Always remember: as long as you repeat the same mistruths over and over, it will eventually become truth!
8: When talking shit doesn't scare the enemy off, run away!
9: Trolling wins wars all by itself!
10: Employ any dirty tactic you can, ally with any cheater you find; because cheating is ok as long as you are English!

*takes a bow*

Bravo!

Subject: Re: Funny English Crap Thu Feb 20, 2014 12:33 pm

You forgot:

11. Assume your enemy lacks the will to fight.
12. Assume your enemy is a stupid as you.
13. When you lose (which never happens of course) it's because none of the enemy are real, they are just clones.

Funny English Crap - Page 21 Clones-are-people-two-150x150

Funny English Crap - Page 21 Clones-are-people-two-150x150

Subject: Re: Funny English Crap Thu Feb 20, 2014 3:51 pm

Yes so we got a bit feisty today.. seems the new men rather enjoyed their "new" parts, and talking of practicing kissing was about too!

Funny English Crap - Page 21 Genderchange

Funny English Crap - Page 21 Genderchange

Subject: Re: Funny English Crap Thu Feb 20, 2014 3:55 pm

+1 Anto

Nice catch with the screenie! We got some fine, errm, ladies with beards. lol

Subject: Re: Funny English Crap Thu Feb 20, 2014 4:20 pm

lol fordo looks like a dude with a wig. Laughing

Subject: Re: Funny English Crap Thu Feb 20, 2014 5:27 pm

After I showed Fordo what you said, via Tavern:

Funny English Crap - Page 21 Tavernchicks_zpsa944a1ea

about died laughing at Fran's comment hahaha

Much love for our Fordo <3 lol

Subject: Re: Funny English Crap Thu Feb 20, 2014 5:46 pm

LOL awww.

Subject: Re: Funny English Crap Thu Feb 20, 2014 6:00 pm

Moratt wrote:: What I would accept is a peace agreement that established reconstruction and trade after the war.

Oh noes, Moratt wants us to repay WML for the state of their mines before their can be peace. What will we do?

Subject: Re: Funny English Crap Thu Feb 20, 2014 6:37 pm

Motherlucka wrote:

Moratt wrote:: What I would accept is a peace agreement that established reconstruction and trade after the war.

Oh noes, Moratt wants us to repay WML for the state of their mines before their can be peace. What will we do?

Tell him to shove it. Razz

Squire Posts : 580 Join date : 2012-10-11

Aggnes wrote:: They think they've found the Westmorland navy, though it seems to have taken three admirals to do it, and there's still some doubt

Commoner Posts : 181 Join date : 2013-12-18 Age : 38

Got this Mail from an english clone on the day shewas born. Lol

From : Meagan
Date : 21/02/1462 - 03:41:22
Titre : Hello
Hello! I am new to Liverpool, in fact I just managed to escape the dreary life of my parent's constant hand holding. I have not been able to enter the tavern, but I did see you through the window! I know this is quite scandalous...but you are quite beautiful. My heart is beating just writing this. I hope you find this letter soon.

Not-so-secret admirer,
Meagan

Subject: Re: Funny English Crap Sat Feb 22, 2014 12:10 am

That's hilarious Nin ^^

Subject: Re: Funny English Crap Sat Feb 22, 2014 12:23 am

At the Liverpool TH tavern:

Quote :: Whilst we have so many aged enemies in town who are unlawfully interrupting grant transactions, please use the alternative Town tavern - Puddle II - which is fully stocked with food and ale

Support the town - support the Puddle!

Subject: Re: Funny English Crap Sat Feb 22, 2014 5:03 pm

Yea so I got this the other day... had to say it was quiet interesting. Newbie ... Shocked

From : Meagan
Date : 21/02/1462 - 03:39:10
Titre : Hello
Hello! I am new to Liverpool, in fact I just managed to escape the dreary life of my parent's constant hand holding. I have not been able to enter the tavern, but I did see you through the window! I know this is quite scandalous...but you are quite beautiful. My heart is beating just writing this. I hope you find this letter soon.

Not-so-secret admirer,
Meagan

-------------------------------------------------

From : Meagan
Date : 21/02/1462 - 14:45:43
Titre : Re: Re: Hello
"I know how lonely soldiers on the road can get. If you need a warm body, let me know."

Squire Posts : 580 Join date : 2012-10-11

You can always recommend her right hand to her Very Happy

Subject: Re: Funny English Crap Sat Feb 22, 2014 6:31 pm

Elsbet wrote:: I address this to all members on both lists.
If Sussex were to offer peace to the CA, what terms would you find acceptable and what would you find unacceptable?
Would you seriously be willing to make a deal with these... terrorists?

lol terrorists in ~~1464~~ 1462. Cool

Commoner Posts : 181 Join date : 2013-12-18 Age : 38

1462 hun lol

Subject: Re: Funny English Crap Sat Feb 22, 2014 7:54 pm

Francesca. wrote:: You can always recommend her right hand to her

I about died.

Subject: Re: Funny English Crap Sat Feb 22, 2014 10:07 pm

So I had a visitor in the tavern today... she attempted to whisper sweet nothings in my ear ...

Meagan leaves the tavern by the door. How civilized!
Meagan whispers to you : I must be leaving to try my luck elsewhere, then. Good luck with your...life?
Meagan whispers to you : If it is too long to explain here you can always send me a letter
Meagan whispers to you : The men get them all. So what exactly is happening around here? I'm new.
Chyler whispers to Meagan : nah can't say I will
Meagan whispers to you : Ahh must be a lucky man. I wager you won't be coming back with me to my little shanty then?
Chyler whispers to Meagan : though if your looking to make your way I could have an option for you
Chyler whispers to Meagan : can't say I do actually I am well taken care of...
Meagan whispers to you : You must get lonely
Chyler whispers to Meagan : aye that I am
Meagan whispers to you : Soldier on the road?
Chyler whispers to Meagan : hello
Chyler smiles.
Meagan whispers to you : Hello!

Subject: Re: Funny English Crap Sat Feb 22, 2014 10:10 pm

Francesca. wrote:: You can always recommend her right hand to her

Or give her Gambits address

Subject: Re: Funny English Crap Sun Feb 23, 2014 9:44 am

Plot twist: It is Gambit, and he has gotten lonely. Smile

Subject: Re: Funny English Crap Sun Feb 23, 2014 4:35 pm

Cheatley wrote:: Plot twist: It is Gambit, and he has gotten lonely.

Oh god please don't tell me that Rolling Eyes

Commoner Posts : 189 Join date : 2012-03-01

Cheatley wrote:: Plot twist: It is Gambit, and he has gotten lonely.

Isn't it impossible to 'get' something you already have? I imagine in Gambit's case he's been 'lonely' for a while...

Subject: Re: Funny English Crap Wed Feb 26, 2014 5:30 am

Milicent wrote:: My Lord Duke:

Having had the great displeasure of reading the so-called Peace Proposal, which was presented in the Devon Inn, I must say that I am strongly moved to voice my vehement opposition to the ridiculous terms apparently endorsed by the so-called Queen of England.

The farcical use of the term 'Reparations' to euphemize the fifty thousand pound bribe for the CA to end their invasion is but one of the most insultingly ridiculous clauses of this cowardly document! We are to take the spineless path of surrendering our funds and treasure to a terroristic band of low-lives, sacrificing our dignity and sense of justice, never mind essentially funding their continued campaigns against other lands? What message does this send the world? Squeeze England tightly enough and it will quake like a whipped dog?

Even if we ignore the clear foolishness of the proposal's terms, what recourse should we have if the CA decides, after having received our material end of the bargain, to fail to honour their intangible promises? As we have absolutely no collateral, nothing prevents us from being scoffed at a half-year from now, if not even immediately after we sign, and invaded again with now fewer resources left for us to defend with. If our fool Queen thinks England too weak to resist this invasion, then how does HRM intend to enforce the terms of this jest of a peace proposal, should it fail? Why even bother considering an agreement to pay heavy penalties for no guarantee of security, save utter madness?

In my six years in England I have seen rampant stupidity and foolishness, but it seems I shall never cease to be amazed by this unfortunate 'skill' England has raised to become its most celebrated artform. I am utterly disappointed by this and I hope that Your Grace will sensibly do everything in your power to fight this ridiculousness out of consideration.

I have the honour to remain Your Grace's most obedient servant,

Dame Millicent Reine
Public Prosecutor
Mayor of Bristol

John_hawkwood wrote:

My heart says what Dame Millicent says. But my mind harbors the suspicion that there is more to life than war, and there's more to honor than winning a campaign.

I believe we can trust Slaine that he is honest when he gives his personal opinion. Let's not forget, however, that Ireland is not a civilized society, and let's not have unrealistic expectations from his words. (Whatever civilized minds Ireland may have had in the past have moved to England.) When he says things like, "I personally will be doing whatever I can," let's not imagine it amounts to much. His position in Ireland is nothing like the position of a free Englishman in Devon. Ireland is a primitive tribal society run by warlords whose psychological maturity is at the level of an English adolescent. Slaine is only a bond-slave of one such warlord. If that warlord changes his mind - which he does once approximately twice a day - Slaine's promises, even if sincere, will have no value whatsoever. A perfect example of that is Slaine's master recent publishing of his talks with our Chancellor only to ridicule them. I can't imagine an English Count doing such a thing. In Ireland, this is considered normal practice. Culture and civilization are yet to reach that island.

Therefore, I am not really interested in knowing any Irishman besides those who already moved to England and are English citizens. Anyone who is content to live under a warlord of absolute personal power is not exactly a person I would like to befriend. And I don't really care for their Winterfest. After all, every tribal savage believes that his specific version of making chaotic noises is "high culture." And every tyrant is eager to organize festivals to keep the minds of his subjects too busy to notice that they have no liberty.

Having said that, I would like to respectfully suggest to Dame Millicent that paying for peace is not necessarily a loss of honor. It may be an expression of an ethical principle: "Human life is more important than wealth." It may be the outworking of practical or strategic considerations: "Spared lives can make wealth, but spared wealth can't make lives." History provides us with numerous examples of highly developed civilizations who have bribed off Barbarian hordes as a means of preserving their civilization.

I would also suggest that the CA's success in this campaign was not based on having more money. Therefore, paying them money won't really change any balance. Besides, an analytical assessment of the situation shows that Ireland's economy is already in the red from this whole campaign. The average hard working lvl 2 citizen makes about 500 pounds net profit a month. This means, 500 pounds of increased net worth for the economy. For the last two months, Anto's gang of 200 (the intellectual equivalent of 100 English half-wits) would have produced 200,000 pounds of net worth for Ireland if they stayed home and worked. They'll be going home now with less than half that amount, not to mention all the ships destroyed and the cost of all merchant deals, and not mention the cost for all the potions for the soldier's packs.

To add to the picture, this war revealed many weaknesses of England. We don't have a clear military doctrine, and therefore we don't have a clear military strategy. We don't have a clear plan for the participation of each County. As Devonians, we should be aware that Devon is rather looked down upon by the other Counties and by the Crown. Meanwhile, since we are the best organized County economically, and therefore the most prosperous County, we are expected to finance almost everything in this war. Not that we should object to that, but Devon's place in England needs to be re-negotiated to match her economic share in running England.

Here's, I believe, a very good explanation why this is happening:

--Amelia_Brooks wrote:: Where are our good and true leaders???

Exactly, Ms. Brooks. But there's a good case to make that the leaders of England failed her way before this invasion happened. We need peace to look at what led to it, and fix it. Our civilization doesn't depend on one campaign or one payment; it depends on our willingness to acknowledge our mistakes and fix what needs to be fixed.

Will Anto honor the terms? Who knows. It is certain that even if now he leaves England, he'll be back one day for more. It is our responsibility to prepare for that day, based on the lessons we've learned.

Thank you all for putting up with this ranting swineherd.

Nym wrote:: Seems people miss a few obvious points in these discussions. They are rich. We can sink their fleet 10 times and yet they would rebuild it in a month. The two war cogs Tanissa managed to sink in PL were rebuilt in a week or so. They can finance ten more invasions. We can defeat them, they can pull back, recover and come back in two months. We are broke. We have a county that was ruined. We just pushed away our only allies and hope for naval supremacy, even temporary. They have more clones and are free to use them, seeing how admins are not willing to eliminate them. The LN clones sit on their ships and are activated when needed. Even their captains are clones. Their army leaders are clones. Our navy can not sit in front of their shores forever. Their can, all they need is food for the captain. The rest can die and revive themselves when needed. They move with a single purpose, with a single mind, no soldier in their clone armies will forget to follow, no crewman will take days to confirm his posting, no captain will miss a move, no general will go in a different direction because he does not agree with the strategy. And there will only be more of them when they need them.

This is not an enemy we can beat. So stop dreaming of a victory, give them what they want and hope they honor the deal. If they don't, we can all move to Turkey and deal with their clones.

Adrian Bekavac

John_hawkwood wrote:: Ah, that explains why they are so eager to invite Englishmen and women for their Winterfest. I bet it's creepy to celebrate when all around you are dumb clones.

Subject: Re: Funny English Crap Wed Feb 26, 2014 5:43 am

Here they go with the bullshit clone crap again. What a bunch of pathetic fucktwits.

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